If your child is going to school, the best thing you can do is not write it to the most expensive school, help their homework and reward them when they get good grades; making him feel your endless love and trust…
Write: Yaprak Çetinkaya
From the moment a baby is born, at least mental preparation begins on many subjects such as which kindergarten she will be educated in, how old she must meet the foreign language. However, parents realize that their truths do not always work and seek support, especially for children of this age. Today, student coaches have started to meet this need. We met with Oğuz Akyıldız, a student coach with NLP support, and talked about the content of the concept of ‘success’ which is very important to the system and the ways to raise successful children.
Can you describe a successful school life?
Success is actually a personal phenomenon, it would be wrong to generalize. Success cannot be given a single definition, if it creates competition, which is a challenge. However, it should not be difficult to succeed. Every person who has captured inner happiness, peace and created a life expressing himself is successful because he is happy. However, it is not possible to mention that every successful person is happy. Success requires inner pleasure, not external consent; the person who has reached it does not need the appreciation or approval of others. The critical issue here is to enable children to become aware of and process their own ore, rather than being motivated and evaluated as a result of this process, within the framework of criteria such as generally accepted good school and high grade.
In other words, does the school or grades that the child will study have no significance?
Nothing is more important than the child’s discovery of his own abilities and moving in this direction. This is the biggest deficiency of our education system. Before the university, all children are accepted as an example and undergo the same education, their area of interest or choice of profession comes to the fore only when they enter the university. However, starting from primary school and if possible before, children should be kneaded in an education in which they will realize their own identity. Only then can they reach the conscious selection maturity. Unfortunately, in the current education system, children are both getting cold from the lessons and are forced to cope with the psychological problems at a young age by missing the best times of their lives.
What psychological problems are you talking about?
Two important issues come to the fore; the feeling of emptiness and meaninglessness that arises with the pressure of success and subsequent failure complex. I mean the feeling of emptiness, children’s awareness of themselves. Since neither the education system nor the parent is in a way of raising the child to recognize himself, the child will inevitably fall into a vacuum after a while. This is the reason for all this computer and mobile phone curiosity and even addiction. The virtual environment that comes closest to it and can be found with great skill adds an artificial personality to the child, creating a critical mistake in the process of filling the gap.